This Queen of Caturday Decrees a Royal Helping of Blankies, Treat Bowls, and Belly Rubs - All Hail

Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor

Feb 1, 2025 4:00 PM EST

We are all well aware of the fact that felines are the dictators of what happens on Caturday. But what you might not have come across as yet is the pure fury and power of a feline purr-incess who rules over her land with an iron paw. What she wants she gets, and today she has decreed that there shall be an abundance of blankies for several sweet naps, tons of treats filling beautiful bowls for when she wakes up from her naps and needs some sustenance, and above all else belly rubs on demand and not for a second longer than shall please her highness.

This is the kind of Caturday service that can only be pulled off by a feline fanatical pawrent who has decided that instead of adopting several cats to serve, they will focus all their attentions on one cute cat child who will become the benevolent ruler of their home. Talk about dedication, we can only hope that the naps will be long, that the treats will last and that the cat child will not turn suddenly clawminal while getting belly rubs.

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Well, lucky for this purrincess, being a member of a royal family is a version of unemployment. And if anything the exact version of unemployment that she is seeking. You still get given all the things you want and need out of life without thinking about how they were paid for, and you get all the attention of your adoring countrymen and women. What more could a purrfect pillow purrincess want?
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If you have ever wondered why it is that royals never deal with money directly, this is why. They have the funds of a whole nation at their fingertips, which when combing with next day delivery can be a recipe for an economic crash. So instead we let them demand things whenever they want and depending on budget allocations they may or may not receive their request. Heck, they may just furget about it altogether.
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"Cat Tax"

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